scents memory

i think its safe to say i may be the most abnormal girl out there. i dont like chocolate. (have i said enough yet) i LOVE cars. (hmmm) i prefer spicy and salty foods over sweet ones. (and they say ALL sweet girls have a sweet tooth) and another one for ya...i HATE the smell of flowers. yes i know im strange but im realizing y. i was never really around flowers when i was little except for when i was in a field and saw a few here and there. but me being me i never stopped to smell the roses. well all at once in a VERY short period of time i was bombarded with a BILLION flowers and the scent just overpowered every one of my senses, and i didnt know that at the time because i was preoccupied with other things. and as quickly as the flowers came they were gone and i havnt truly smelled one since. this past valentines day my step mom recieved flowers from my dad and the smell, the same exact one i smelled before has come back. everytime i walk by them i get a wiff and am unwillingly taken back to the flowers and all of the memories that go along with them. and i guess thats most of the reason why i dont like them. i try to get rid of the past and things in the present just keep on bringing me back.

a special message...

so im currently sitting at my desk, laptop, not on lap but on desk, and thinking. if your wondering wut im thinking about theres a variety of things floating up there [not normal for me ;-)] things such as...what am i going to wear tomorrow, why dont my socks keep my toes warm, when am i actually going to do my homework, who is gonna be in my campus on day 6, and where is my cell phone. but the one thought that is overpowering all of those is how did i ever manage to be given the gift of the best boyfriend ever. tomorrow he is turning 16 and i wanted it to be as special for him as he is to me but everything i do i just never seem to think that it is enough. i want to give him more. i want to give him the world to show him how much a i love and care for him. he is the most precious thing in my life and i want him to know that. of the 16 years he has been alive i have only been a part of his life for just under a yea but i already feel like ive known him my whole life. he can make me laugh at any given moment without even trying and even though it may seem like i dont like it sometimes, deep down him and i both know that i love it. =) noone has ever made me feel like he has and i dont know wut i would do without him. he is the love of my life =) i will always be there for him no matter wut forever and ever and ever and ever...i have often written down lyrics of my favorite songs of mine and given them to him as a way of expressing my feelings because not only are do they perfectly describe the way i feel about him but they sound pretty too =) i think the only thing that sounds prettier than music and the lyrics they sing are the words shared between him and i. haha well mostly words spoken by him, with the occasional song or two =D and i remember the words he gave me on my birthday last year and how they made me feel. i felt i was the best thing in the world and was actually an incredible person in his eyes and it was the best feeling in the world and thats how i want to make him feel on his birthday this year, perfect. "I hope you have the best birthday EVER! You deserve everything good that ever comes your way. I love you, more than anything else there ever could be. I don't know what i would do without you; I'd be empty inside. So I believe today, the day you were brought into this world, and eventually to me, is a day to celebrate! So...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" these words, were from my favorite musician of all time. i love you riley, happy birthday.